Engagement party Wishing Well

"Wishing Well" at Engagement Party if you are having a DW

Member

483 posts

Helper bee

Hi Bees,

Is it rude to have a “Wishing Well” at an Engagement Party that everyone is invited to if you put the money towards a DW with only immediate family? This question has been going around a lot at work lately and I’d love to hear your thoughts!

ETA: Here in Australia the Engagement Parties are usually thrown by the couples themselves (the one’s I have been to anyway), or their parents

Member

1070 posts

Bumble bee

I thought you were only supposed to invite those invited to the wedding to the engagement party. Also, I thought it was very rude in general to throw YOURSELF an engagement party as well.

Over here in Australia the Engagement Parties are usually thrown by the couples (the one’s I have been to anyway), or their parents.

1357 posts

You are only supposed to invite people to the e-party if they will also be invited to the wedding.

Having a wishing well is not rude though, many people put cards in them, it’s not just for money. It’s a good way to make sure no cards get lost.

4785 posts

Honey bee

“Please give money for a wedding you’re not invited to”. Sorry, that comes across as very tacky to me.

But perhaps I’m biased because I think wishing wells are always tacky (except maybe some cultures).

It’s fine (in Australia) to hold your own engagement party, but (IMO) not to invite people to it if you’re not inviting them to the wedding. An “open invitation” engagement party is OK though (i.e. fairly common at least in my circles.

169 posts

Blushing bee

MY FI and I aren’t having a DW, but we are moving to a different countr 3 days after the wedding. Therefore, we didn’t want any bulky gifts, but we did appreciate cash.

However, I know a lot of people think it’s tacky to put “cash only” or “wishing well” on the invitiations, so instead we put “Since we are moving to ________ and can’t bring you all with us in our suitcases, in lieu of gifts your presence is present enough.”

Obviously people had to bring SOMETHING to the shower, so they all got the hint and gave us money.

4867 posts

+1 to all of this, exactly right.

6073 posts

Bee Keeper

Here in Australia the Engagement Parties are usually thrown by the couples themselves (the one’s I have been to anyway), or their parents

Im an aussie and in my 30+yrs I have never been to a couple thrown e-party. Maybe in your social/family group but not all Australians

….put the money towards a DW with only immediate family

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-Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering
-Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
-A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
-Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Engagement parties  — Iowa State Daily
If it is a fancy venue, then it may be appropriate to have a black-tie event, but if it is a casual venue, it is not necessary to wear something so fancy as a ball-gown or a tuxedo.

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